you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
