let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
