yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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