I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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