We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
