omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
