Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
