Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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