i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
