I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
