She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
