I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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