i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
