Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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