guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize