rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
His nipple licking is glorious
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
