Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
