Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
