An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
