i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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