I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just found a bag of teeth...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
