the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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