walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize