if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
