I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
