Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
