so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
