I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
