their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dicks are not precious.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
