I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
