Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize