HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
