I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
