3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
