I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
