I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
