): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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