i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
