I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
