in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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