Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
