first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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