absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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