It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
What a dumb baby whore.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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