A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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