another moral hangover. fuck.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
