have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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