is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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