if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Hippo gnu deer
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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