Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
