I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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