planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
