saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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