Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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