it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize