i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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