Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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