The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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