I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Drake has all the answers
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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