Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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