I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
