idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Boobs speak an international language.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
