She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
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