Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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