No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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