I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
