Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
what day is it and did you see me today?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
