I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I am available for nakedness
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
