I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
