Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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