those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
