I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize