She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
