IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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