so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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