Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
