is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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