u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
