Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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