who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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