it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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