He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
