i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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