you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
