Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
