He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
